Cats arent' very bright. There is no shame in admitting this quietly to yourself; however, when friends arrive cat owners must devise a number of clever ways of disguising the fact that they live with a lint-brained sack of fur. One of these methods involves nicknames. It's vital to call your cat by a different name every time you address her. The longer the better. "Snoojee woojee boogumsis", "sweet fluffity muffity", and "kitty witty sooper mooper furfity girl" are all good examples of long names that will confuse your cat. Not that it matters. Cats do not come when called. They do not understand that they have been given a name for this purpose. When called, they may stare at the sound of your voice, but little else is likely. Therefore it's important that you use alternate names in front of your friends to construct an excuse. Of course Kitty doesn't come when I call her. I've been a bad trainer. I never use her name.
